The Perks of Pain
“Ishrat-e-katra hai dariya mein fanaa ho jaana, dard ka hadd se guzarna hai dawa ho jaana.”
Mirza Ghalib was way ahead of his time when he said the above mentioned lines. The translation of the line is, “It is ecstasy for a drop of water to be lost in ocean, and pain in its greatest form, ultimately results in healing only.” One of the best shayaris of all time, I’d say.
While the world, especially my country is going through such a huge crisis, I find these lines more apt than ever. Before this pandemic hit us, we were so overwhelmed with the ideas of ‘I’, ‘mine’, ‘my’ that we forgot that we are just a drop in the ocean of humans. Before this pandemic hit us in its cruellest form, we were consternated by the slightest problems life threw at us. However, now we realise how much the access to a bank balance for security, running water for washing hands, being able to breathe oxygen naturally, having access to medical facilities is far more important than owning a humungous villa, many SUVs, millions of dollars, promotion at work, looking perfect from the outside.
Another aspect that we took for granted was the intensity of importance pain held in our lives. Being part of a generation that isn’t used to wars, famines, crisis, involves ours becoming lesser and lesser resilient with time. Somewhere down the line, we forgot the notion that whatever breaks us, makes us. We become agitated at the slightest deviation from our plans, and this pandemic deviated our plans again and again and again. Thankfully, some people have reached the point of sensibility as to realise that all of this would help us build character. Others I hope reach that point soon.
If I look back at my life, I can say with utmost affirmative that had my heart not being broken multiple times (yes, I am lucky enough to have had my body and mind’s system shaken not once, but many times), I would not have been even a tenth of brave as I am now. Break ups, failures, moments of pandemic shake our inner systems and when our system gets shaken, we can rebuild it from scratch and develop a better system. Sansa Stark, a character in the overly famous series Game of Thrones, showed a remarkable change from being a dumb princess to being one of the strongest women in the show. One of her dialogues is my favourite:
My point is that you cannot expect to grow if you are always avoiding pain. Pain has its own perks. When you go through multiple ordeals, you realise that no ordeal is permanent. You also know how to hold on better when things go against you. You know the way around pain, the way you can get out of it. Most importantly you build insurmountable personality that is based upon your confidence and sanguine attitude towards life.
Every time pain hits you hard, whether in the form of a break up, or failure in career or losing a loved one or watching a loved one go through some sickness, make sure you capitalise on it. Make sure you use each such opportunity to build your character. Make sure you use that opportunity to firm up what you absolutely don’t want in life and what you can’t live without. Make sure you become a better human being.
Just like Mirza Ghalib said, pain in its extreme form would ultimately result in healing. What would be a better time than now to witness that happening?
You may email me at sdshivanidubey@gmail.com.
