“You can be a person with a kind heart and still say no.”
“I am not sure if I can make it to the party, but I will try my best.” With these words, I hung up the phone, with a strange feeling of realising that I did not want to go to that party at any cost! Later, I was contemplating over the ways I could’ve used to politely refuse the proposal.
Why is it that I could not say no straight forward while we were talking?
I think we have the misconception of considering a “no” as a rude reply which is our illusion. Understand, that by not saying no straight forwards, you are not doing good to yourself as well as to the person you are faking your response to because you will not be involved entirely into something you are not interested in and that will not be good for the other person too! Not only does this apply to social gatherings, but also to firing an employee or to refusing a proposal and so on. Next time, try the following replies instead:
- I am sorry I can’t come to the get together because I have other engagements (and truthfully cite those engagements in the conversation).
- I cannot come to the concert/show/movie because I don’t enjoy that genre (Yes, this isn’t rude dear). There is a Latin saying “Degustibus non est disputandum” which means in matters of taste, there should be no disputes. So, it is completely OKAY if Harry Potter is not your childhood craze or if you don’t go crazy for every episode of Game Of Thrones or if PUBG is not something you’ve spent hours at!
- I am sorry but I don’t have a good compatibility with person X who will also be present in the party, so I cannot come as it will make the situation awkward for both of us.
- I am sorry I cannot do it because I have my own long pending list of to-dos that demand my attention (In case, someone is asking for a favour you don’t wish to do).
Eventually you will realise that by saying out loud your true opinions, you will feel more content and happy:)
Saying no is an honest opinion and honest opinion should be given at all costs!
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